Good Spirits
by ronniekins77
Summary: Ray waits for Neela to come home, but the night doesn't turn out as he expected. Missing moment from 12:17 - Lost in America.


The stir-fry sizzled in the pan on the stove, _The Omen_ was on the coffee table waiting to be popped into the VCR, and Ray Barnett emerged from his bedroom, pulling a blue shirt that read 'Shut Up and Dance' over his head.

He was humming to himself, for he was in good spirits. _Very_ good spirits.

He had been looking forward to coming home and hanging out with Neela all day long. He couldn't wait for her to taste his cooking, to clutch his arm as they watched the horror movie, to hear how her day went.

Of course, Ray knew how her day had started. It had been an incredibly intense moment for him and probably had been for her as well. He had been playing it over in his head all day. Her, getting prepared for the surgical conference. Him, telling her it would be okay. Wiping the coffee from the collar of her shirt. Their close proximity. Eyes locking. The dazed look she had given him. Her running off.

Yes, it had definitely been intense.

He had tried not to think about, but that was damn near impossible. Ray had realized awhile ago that what he felt for Neela went beyond friendship, and it was moments like that that made his heart race faster and all thoughts leave his mind.

Ray had no idea if Neela felt the same way he did. Sure, there were long stares, playful bantering, and undeniable tension between them. Sure, they worked well together. Sure, they were always there for each other - whether they were setting each other straight (like Neela often did to him) or lifting each other up (as he did to her). But she had married Gallant.

Obviously he was only imagining that she liked him back. He was over analyzing all the times she brushed against him, the tone of her voice when she talked to him, the cute little smiles that she reserved for him. Imagining it...yes, that was the only explanation.

And that was also why he couldn't tell her how he felt about her. He _wanted_ to, wanted to see her eyes light up as she revealed that she loved him, too, wanted to touch her hair and kiss her lips. But he couldn't.

He had too much respect for her to do anything that would jeopardize her marriage.

Besides, it was crazy. He thought back to Sadler, his patient who had "overdosed" because he hadn't wanted to jeopardize a marriage, hadn't wanted his feelings to get in the way. Ray was doing the same thing.

But even if Neela couldn't be with him, he still enjoyed their time together. She was his roomie, his best friend. She was fun to be around, to crack jokes with, to bicker with. She had never turned her back on him, unlike some of his other friends. She was there to listen when he had a rough day at the hospital or just felt like talking. She comforted him, healed him, made him a better person.

She was all he could ever ask for and all he could ever want. He didn't know what he'd do without her at the hospital, without her sharing this apartment with him, without her in his life.

Ray heard the door open, and he knew Neela was home. He smiled to himself; he liked it when she came home to him.

"Hey, how was it?" he asked, not turning around to face her. His heart was pounding.

"Endless."

"Well, I'm making stir fry. Beer or wine?"

"Neither. I'm exhausted and already drunk."

He turned around and made her try the fresh water chestnut and started rambling about how he thought they had grown in cans and that he had rented _The Omen_.

"Ray - " she started.

"It's better than _The Exorcist_, I promise. It's a classic."

"That's what you said about _The Exorcist_."

He smirked. "True, but - "

"Ray - "

"I know you're tired."

"Ray - "

"Okay, I know you don't like devil movies, but this is the last one, I promise."

"I think I should move out."

Ray felt like he had been socked in the stomach. _What?_

All he had wanted to do was eat with her and watch _The Omen_. And she wanted to move _out_?

"Why?"

The events of that morning flashed through his mind.

_Her, getting prepared for the surgical conference. Him, telling her it would be okay. Wiping the coffee from the collar of her shirt. Their close proximity. Eyes locking. The dazed look she had given him. Her running off._

"I think we both know why."

And he did. Neela had felt the same things he had. She had only just realized it.

But she wanted to run - run from him and her feelings, and all Ray wanted was for her to stay.

His heart was breaking, and instead of Neela being the one to fix it, she was the cause of it.

So much for being in good spirits.


End file.
